I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
