the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
