I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
