they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
