my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
