There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
