i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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