You're completely useless in the revolution.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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