Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
