I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
