Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
