I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
