just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize