I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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