Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
