He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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