Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
