Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
