anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
