I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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