Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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