It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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