I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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