What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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