hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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