Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
