Buhtt sex?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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