I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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