got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize