Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
