So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize