I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
