he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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