I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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