You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
