I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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