You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
