i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
