I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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