he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
