I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
