paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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