Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
