yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
