worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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