dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
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I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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