O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
