me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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