I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize