I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
