I puked a lego.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
