I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize