i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
