I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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