she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
