stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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