i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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