you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
do nipples grow back?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
