I feel like abortions should bother me more
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He better not be in your backpack
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
